Nauseating Beautiful

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  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/87pages/
  • Home Again to Buy a Fat pig

    Ok so maybe not to buy a fat pig. But I did touchdown in the states Dec 19 and its been a great reunion. Been trying to visit my friends before they depart for the holidays and of course there's family time. Tho to be honest this is my first day sleeping at home since Ive gotten back.

    But it is quite comfortable and safe knowing Ill always have a home to come back too. Secretly Germany has the strict potential to become another home. So we'll see.

    Oh while I was on twittter.... coughhintcough www.twitter.com/87PageS coughhintcough I was complimented on my blog but that it was tooo long.

    So instead of being a chatty cathy Ima chop up my blogs in Act I ; Act II and so on. So for the weary reader you can enjoy my craziness easier.



    GUEST Blogger: Fun Shady Times in Nuremburg, Germany: Act I

    Hey folks!

    So yea it's been like five gazillion years since I told you I would blog. But I'm lazy.

    Yes. I'm lazy. It's not like I've been super busy or jet setting around the world. But I have been busy and I've been chilling.

    Germany is fun. I've met a lot of people in my 4 months here. And I actually have a worthy blog to tickle your fancy!

    My guest blogger is my friend Corky who is also an intern. He wrote a fantastic piece about an adventure we had a month or so ago!

    Have Fun Reading!

    Last night....was WILD! So it's Sunday and Christine (another intern) and I decided we would go to the Ehenfeld kirwa festival with this girl that lives in Ehenfeld. We had made plans and everything with her. Christine and I hit the gym, and afterwards we get ready. We can't get a hold of the girl who is supposed to go to the festival with us. We were both kind of bummed, but then Star (another intern that lives with Christine) decided we should just all go to Nuremberg on a day trip.

    So we hop on our bikes and ride to the train station....keep in mind it's already getting cold as the night is approaching (it's about 5pm this time), and the train station is about 2 miles away from where we live. We buy our passes and hop on the train to Nuremberg which is about an hour away from Vilsek. We get there and decide we want German beer and food.

    We exit the train station and we're hella confused, so we decided to go back into the station to ask some locals where to go. We ended up in the train station hookah bar drinking Becks and smoking hookah (by the way...hookah here is only 5 euro- so much cheaper than the over priced shit in the states).

    It was the best hookah I'd ever had, but they didn't serve food. We asked the waitress what was a good place to eat and drink beer. It was a Sunday so we were pretty limited in our options. The waitress's English wasn't great, but it was good enough to understand where she was directing us (so we thought).

    GUEST Blogger: Fun Shady Times in Nuremburg, Germany: Act II

    We're kind of bummed, but we're also buzzing and in Nuremburg having a good time. We decide to go back to the hookah bar to have a couple more beers while we wait on our train. We then meet 5 guys from Tunisia who invite us to come sit with them and smoke their hookah.

    Only ones of them spoke barely decent English, but it was freaking good time. We laughed and had beers, and they invited us back to their place to smoke. Christine and Star had work, so we declined. They then invited us to their friends going away party on Tuesday (he's going to Thailand), and one of the guys owned a disco in Nuremburg and invited us out on Saturday. So we exchange numbers and by then it's time to catch our train.

    We get to our train dock, but we wanted to double check if we were at the right spot. It ended up we were right and the lady totally fucked us. Our train did leave at 10:30, and the next train wouldn't come until 4:30 in the morning. We're freaking out trying to call people to come get us, and we find no one.


    Random Thoughts about Germany

    Ok so my random thoughts about Germany.

    Germans can be quite rude. The words "excuse me", "pardon", or even "I'm Sorry" are exempt from their vocab. When walking they plow through you especially when you're walking in the train station. They aren't too considerate for others.

    Let's see what else can I rant/comment about?

    The German McDonald's is exquisite. It taste completely different from American McDonalds. The fries are so tasty. I love eating them with mayo. Their chicken nuggets are to die for. Now I know I'm being the typical American but its soooo addicting.

    Please keep in mind that I do like to eat German foods. But its rare to eat it on base (we have American foods/fast food courts)-- The Burger King on post is okay. It sometimes taste different but their fries are on point. not as good as MCD tho. When I go off post I do make a point to try German food. I'm not opposed to it. The bratwurst is quite delightful. German Beer is good too.

    -Curry Wurst & Pomme Frittes so delicious I would kill for it!

    The area I live in has like 300 breweries. So I plan to discover them. :)

    I think the US should invest in trains -- Europe is onto something with having trains every where.

    Um, I can't think of anything else. But I'ma force myself to recount my trips to Oktoberfest & Paris in a new post by Sunday. Its just sooo hard lol even when I'm bored I don't feel like writing. But I will do it!


    The Almost Disaster of Oktoberfest

    I originally planned to go too Oktoberfest (in Munich) in the second week it was in session, but Al Quad-ea decided to threaten Germany & Oktoberfest with bombs galore. So my internship forbade us to go. Talk about the worst thing in the world. We had bought our tickets a few weeks in advance to celebrate Linda's birthday. Her family even had a room reserved for her. Let me tell you I was super pumped.

    But we didn't go. Needless to say, Al Quadea did not bomb Germany... in the time that I've been here.

    Ok so basically, me, Christine, & Spencer went the the third week (final week) of Oktoberfest and it was fun. Not as crowded like I originally thought but it was fun. Christine was meeting her friend (whose in the Airforce) at Oktoberfest so we had a beer tent to go too. We met up with her friend and his friends. And had a lot of FUN. The house beer wasn't to die for but it did the job. I actually was somewhat sober for the event because I never quite finished my 2 beers... not cuz I'm a wimp but throughout the day I lost sight of my beer and I was NOT trying to be in a Germany version of Hangover .... (PAUSE: Hangover is a movie that recently came out..def go see it!)

    I would also like to pause for a minute, and talk about my love of accessories. Don't worry this will contribute to the story. I love my accessories. Especially my earrings that I try to buy one of kind. Like it becomes very intense and dramatic if I ever loose my earrings. I typically have backs in them, but sometimes they fall out. Sadly.

    So what does this have to do with my story? I had on a pair of earrings that I loved. Like they were wonderful I got them for 1.99$ from Love21 and I loved them. I checked frantically throughout the day to make sure I still had them in my ear because my dumb self forgot to put backs in them.

    So as our evening is coming to a close in Oktoberfest. We had been there for about 4 good hours I reckon. We say our goodbyes and we all walk out of the beer tent. All in good camaraderie. Than it happens. I randomly touch my earlobe.

    My earring is gone.

    I stop & freak out.


    Guest Blogger: Part III- When a Black Leader Needs To Retire

    Guest Blogger Antoine Marshall was inspired from a conversation he had on the posting of a friend (shoutout to Bradley), regarding the BET employee's comments about BET which can be found here. Antoine Marshall is currently a first year law student at Wake Forest. http://www.linkedin.com/pub/antoine-marshall/1a/267/148
    The three examples above are merely an example of the timeline of what seems to be every black leader.
    1. Accomplish great things
    2. Get older
    3. Believe in the hype that has been placed upon you
    4. Get addicted to the power and influence
    5. Declare yourself the self-appointed leader of all things within the black community
    6. Abandoning ideas from young leaders, insult young leaders.
    Maybe this is the criteria for black leaders, or maybe the leaders viewed as the greatest are so because they are assassinated before they reach phase II or III of black leaders (King, X, Newton). While interesting to ponder upon that's not quite the purpose of this note.
    I was asked a question in a conference once that I now pose to you. Name a black leader under the age of 40 who is not a musician or athlete... Don't worry I'll wait. It's not an easy question, and I have trouble doing it without doing an online search. Which brings me to the purpose of this note what we are going to do about it?

    Everyone I have tagged in this note I believe is an intelligent, young African-American with the capability of becoming a leader on a local, regional, or national stage (not to say anything about the people I didn't tag, and of course I underline "capability" because it's on you to realize that potential).

    Problem is, like Hales (Our BET employee), we are also the type normally shot down by the relics of movements past, who have the belief that because we haven't achieved the level of success they have in our many less years, our ideas are somehow less valuable or effective.

    Despite the oncoming post-racial America (that we exceedingly are proven we don't live in) that Barack Obama is supposed to usher in. There will always be a black community, just like there will always be a Jewish, Hispanic, Muslim, Asian, etc. community. And the black leaders of today need to be just as inspired and talented as leaders past.

    I had a friend who had a lunch with John Lewis (One of the big 6 from the Civil Rights Movement, and current US Representative from Georgia) and asked him what can we do as young African-Americans today to continue the fight for civil rights, and his answer mirrored many of the strategies used in the 40s-60s: march, rally, boycott, etc.

    As we saw with the Jena 6 and SC Confederate Flag those methods don't work anymore and now it's on our generation to update our strategies to be more relevant and effective in today's faster society (not to say anything disparaging about John Lewis, one of our better US Congressmen).

    It is my sincere hopes that this note brings about serious discussion about the state of black leadership, the transition of power over to the younger generation, and how we can cement ourselves and ideas within our communities on a local, regional, and national level, among all who are tagged or happen to stumble upon this note.

    If not immediately I hope to at least grease the wheels for discussions in the near future. I understand this note is long, but how can we hope to achieve the status of leaders if we shy away from long/difficult endeavors.

    With the high rates of incarceration, drug use, drop outs, births out of wedlock, single parent homes and other socio-economical attacks on our community if only one person is able to stomach and decipher my philosophical babblings on what I believe is a void in leadership among African-Americans, or recalls this note after they have reached the pinnacle of success to avoid the pitfalls that have plagued our other black leaders, then I feel the time and effort put into this note is more than worth it.

    Guest Blogger: Part II- When a Black Leader Needs To Retire

    Guest Blogger Antoine Marshall was inspired from a conversation he had on the posting of a friend (shoutout to Bradley), regarding the BET employee's comments about BET which can be found here. Antoine Marshall is currently a first year law student at Wake Forest. http://www.linkedin.com/pub/antoine-marshall/1a/267/148
    1. W.E.B. DuBois

      The first black to receive a PhD from Harvard, architect of the NAACP and the principal known as the talented tenth, was very much a leader through the early 20th century. He fought for the education, civil reform, and economic reform of blacks making significant advancement throughout those areas.

      His later life he was marred by his praise of Stalin, fights with the NAACP, controversies that resulted in losing his US citizenship, criticism of younger black writers/musicians and developing a nasty habit of changing his mind on major issues; sometimes fighting just as passionately for the issues he fought against a few months prior.
    2. Thurgood Marshall
      The man voted by Time Magazine as Mr. Civil Rights in the 50s and 60s (beating King, X, and many others more associated with the civil rights movement now) arguably singlehandedly did more for abolishing Jim Crow laws and discrimination than any other leader.

      His ability to follow Charles Hamilton Houston's plan of legally breaking down separate but equal doctrines earned him the privileged of being our first black Supreme Court Justice. But as the young hotshot lawyer grew older he took steps to get in front of the movement ensuring that he received the glory from major case wins.

      This included separating the Legal Defense Fund from the NAACP in a battle of egos to ensure that he had the power to remain in front of the movement and didn't have to divulge power and glory to the NAACP. As a Supreme Court Justice he was called on to step down during the late stages of the Carter administration to ensure that the people would be granted a successor with the same ideological leanings as him (with the even more gracious offer to have him in on the meetings to choose his successor, with several well qualified black nominees being considered).

      Despite his failing health and questions about his mental capacity diminishing, Marshall's ego had him stubbornly refuse, blasting the well-qualified potential black nominees who viewed him as a hero, saying he'd stay in office until death. Remarkably he lasted another 8 years on the bench (which given his health conditions and demand of the job a testament to his willpower) but retiring in '91 and I personally hold him responsible for being stuck with Clarence Thomas the man then President H.W. Bush nominated to replace him.
    3. Jesse Jackson nuff said...

      Ok so that was wrong, but the man who worked closely with Dr. King, ran for President in 1984 and 1988 (if you didn't know he was 2nd in the Democratic Primaries voting in 1988. He was the 1988 Hillary Clinton) and helped electrify the Democratic base in 1992. Has become for the lack of a better annoying. His Rainbow/PUSH Coalition routinely fleeces worthy causes, for the purpose of filling his pocket, and who can forget this.


      By now even his most adamant supporters know he's being a media whore
    Stay Tuned for Part III of When a Black Leader Needs To Retire


    Guest Blogger: Part I- When a Black Leader Needs to Retire

    Guest Blogger Antoine Marshall was inspired from a conversation he had on the posting of a friend (shoutout to Bradley), regarding the BET employee's comments about BET which can be found here.  Antoine Marshall is currently a first year law student at Wake Forest. http://www.linkedin.com/pub/antoine-marshall/1a/267/148
    There is one section in particular that brought out the larger conversation that follows.

    I came in with a plan to provide balance and to deliver good music to the masses and help make BET relevant again -- at least in the dot-com world. Those attempts were shut down by out-of-touch executives who run a dot-com but could barely turn on a computer.

    The short explanation of this is that a bright young intelligent employee of BET proposed quality ideas to BET, but BET with an absolute deterrence to anything remotely successful shot down these quality ideas.
    We could leave off there and chalk it up to BET executives living up to the failure that is BET, but I think it brings up a more pressing issue of significant importance within the black community and that is the idea of black leaders stepping down.

    One thing is inevitable, we all lose it at some point. Either through physical or mental deterioration, or the result of a changing of times, there is a point in our life when we are on the decline, unable to do the thing that we're best at, or at least unable to do so on the same level. Jordan's high flying dunks were replaced by the fadeaway jumpshot, Ali's foot speed and piston like jabs were replaced by the rope-a-dope, Ray Charles' fast paced fusion of gospel and Rock & Roll was replaced by slower ballads. But what about our black community leaders?
    Unlike Jordan, Charles, and Ali community leaders can't just choose to retire. In the black community they remain public images throughout their lives, many of them living relics of a past fight or struggle. The problem is, is that they don't wish to relinquish that image, wanting to be forever viewed as the champion of abolition, civil rights, or whatever worthy cause they had so much success with, often times to the detriment of their causes.

    Don't believe me? I bring up three examples

    Stay Tuned for Part II of When a Black Leader Needs To Retire


    Berlin Bounders

    So we (11 interns) decide for our three day weekend (Labor Day) we’d go to Berlin. Because some interns just got here the past week we didn’t want to reserve hostels or book train tickets without them. So we had no concrete plans. But we were all geeked.

    Fast-forward to chaos. Our two designated leaders misread the base shuttle schedule. So we didn’t have a ride to the train station. Luckily there was another train coming in another 2 hours. I would like to say I was content to wait for the next shuttle or take a taxi (which cost about 40 euro).

    Next I would like to say I was bamboozled. We walked. Walked from the base to the train station. I repeat we walked. Up hills, down hills, in the brisk wind.

    Fashion Alert: I had on a brown cardigan, a white summery top, skinny jeans, and some salmon pink flats. I had my huge brown purse and I was using a duffle bag as a bookbag/backpack (regional differences etc). My flats we’re comfortable BUT comfortable for wandering around town NOT for me to hike to the nearby town.

    Vilseck is about 5 minutes driving from base. Walking took us about 1 hr 30 min. Did I mention some interns stopped at the local grocery store and got beer, wine, and alcohol.

    Yup. A mess. A complete mess.

    So we finally got on a train and it was all gravy. Until we found out there was a soccer/football game and the fans were wildin’. Like they had drums. They were drunk. Did I mention they had drums and were drunk.

    Quick fact: It’s completely legal to carry around alcohol/beer on the streets/trains/parks/etc of Germany.

    The train we we’re waiting for was delayed 25 minutes because of the hooligans. So we missed our next train.

    Quick Note: We still were no closer to Berlin. We left the base at 9am. Got on the train at 11 or 12. It should’ve took us 5 hours. But we took regional trains and the current schedule said we’d get there around 9pm.


    Here’s the semi-dramatic part. The drunk and tispy interns left us. Me and 3 other girls (we we’re completely sober). It was super cold all day and we weren’t dressed for the weather. We also didn’t have alcohol running through our blood. So we huddle under a tunnel and we told 2 semi-tispy intern to let us know when the train got there.

    Random Fact: The weather makes me perturbed. People either wear hoodies, peacoats, leather jackets, no jackets. IDK how to even dress. I mean being from windy freezing Northeast Ohio does help. But even when it’s 60 degrees it’s like freezing cold! Germany is weird. I have a long list of complaints (not that long) but I’ll talk about that in one of my future youtube videos.

    The train got there. We we’re still huddled oblivious to the train being there. The other interns were on the train.

    Yuup. You read right.


    ... Continuation of Access Roster

    Ok So where was I?

    Orientation. Touring of the Local Towns. Wow it's soo pretty.

    But there isn't anything to do here. Um I did observation for SAS--- at an Amusement Park that sucked. I hate amusement parks. Ok it wasn't that bad until they had me get on the spinning saucers. I willed myself to pass out. Didn't work. It also sucked cuz there we're a lot of bees. And it also sucked because I wound up watching the kids.

    But apparently there was a great fascination with my name. Apparently part of it means Michael or Michail in German. Sweet.

    Skipping ahead.


    You're Not on the Access Roster


    So on Monday I'll officially been in Germany for a week. And what a week it has been!

    First the plane ride. I was sad saying goodbye to my fam and it kicked in I might not see them for an entire year! For Camp Adventure we have a particular uniform and we're required to wear it on the trip, they said we'd see lots of people with uniform on. As I waited for the departure. I saw no one. Than a girl came up behind me and was like "Are you in Camp Adventure?" Talk about excitement time! So me and the girl flew from our original destination --to Frankfurt--to Nuremberg. --hence the earlier video post Travel Vlog: 87Adventures; HALLO/Guten Tag

    So when we got to Frankfurt we saw more CA people. w00t. Finally got to Nuremberg and got picked up. We drove about 45 minutes to Vilseck and Got moved into our town house. I'll post a video of that later (been having technical difficulties lol)

    We had orientation Tuesday & Wednesday-- we also toured the towns of Vilseck and Grafenwoehr. It's really pretty. We live in a rural area. I definitely wish I brought my OFF tho lol

    ---- I'll finish this later. I need to go eat I had a VERY tiresome day!


    Travel Vlog: 87Adventures; HALLO/Guten Tag

    Guten Tag! Were pulling off! Ima miss everyone! I found aNother Intern and now Im not lonley! Im scared, sad, excited, etc. Pray that I get there safely! Love you!



    So here it is. Im currently at graduation writing this --the speaker is boring! Anyways Im ready to get the show on the road. This feels unreal but Im suppper excited to be an Alumni. No more studying or school work till I go for my Masters and PH.D! I cant wait to begin the rest of my day! Ooh yay the speaker is done and now its time "For the Reccomendation of Degrees." omg my heart just fluttered!


    Jet Setting

    I'm so excited for Germany. Like it's blowing my mind that in about 4 weeks I'll be gone for an entire year! I'm so pumped that I'm trying to figure out ways to stay. I'm glad that I'm doing Camp Adventure but I also want to find different ways to prolong my stay. I'm going to look into being a Nanny/Au Pair. I've seen the movies and they seem cool --the girl always get's a husband-- regardless.. I'm not tryna come back to the USA for a good 2-3 years.

    I'm already packed and I left enough room in my suitcase for more clothes... but I'm sure when I come back I'll have another suitcase. I might ship a box ahead of time just in case.

    Oh Gosh. I'm on pins and needles.


    ALL MY SINGLE LADIES.............What Can You Bring to the Table?

    In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question

    "What kind of man are you looking for?"

    She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye and asking "Do you really want to know?" Reluctantly, he said "Yes."

    She began to expound...

    "As a woman in this day and age, I am in a position to ask a man what he can do for me that I can't do for myself. I pay my own bills. I take care of my household without the help of any man...or woman for that matter. I am in the position to ask, "What can you bring to the table?"

    The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money.

    She quickly corrected his thought and stated, "I am not referring to money.”

    I need something more. I need a man who is striving for perfection in every aspect of life." He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, and asked her to explain.


    Peter Pan

    I'm planning to audition for America's Next Top Model.

    I'm also going to send in a casting tape for the Real World.

    I don't want to start a real job anytime soon. I just want to live the celeb-reality life.

    Too bad I can't sing.

    You Must Be Deaf!: DJ Play MY Music

    "My Endless Love" sung by Luther Vandross & Mariah Carey remains one of my ultimate fave songs. I think I will dance to this at my wedding. No lie. I used to imagine that one day I'd be rich & famous by some quirk of fate and Luther would sing at my wedding... sad that it cant be...
    I grew up on the sounds of MJ, Luther, The Temptations, and my girl Whitney. I could def sing anyone of their songs and jam all night long. lol I remember washing dishes in junior high and singing (horribly if I might add) to "Whitney" which came out in 87... I remember declaring that I was gonna get a white tank top and wear my hair wild like hers.

    But back to the music: thanks to my older sister she introduced me to TLC, Toni Braxton, En Vogue, Brandy, Aaliyah, Anita Baker, Babyface, Janet Jackson, Sade, Brian McKnight, and Maxwell. We used to be groovin in the 90s..

    I def thought I was hip. lol I remember when I got in trouble for listening to "Ooh its on the TLC tip" (TLCs first album for the lames) and my mom was tryna break the songs down but 13 or 14 year old self was like these girls are too sharp. lol But real talk I'm in love with rythym and blues.
    It was later that I introduced myself to my girl Beyonce and Destiny's Child, and I've been jammin ever since--mostly to B. Oh and I'm a huge fan of A Keys. Recently, I've been diggin Chrysette Michelle, Usher, Chris Brown, Keri Hilson, John Legend, Ne-Yo & Trey Songz (the last 3 I can put on repeat for days) no lie.

    Beside's rnb I'm open to a lot of music... I love me some John Mayer (future hubby), Charlotte Church, Madonna, Pink, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Josh Groban, Celine Dion (random I know lol), Shakira, and of course the latest pop and rock out now --Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, All-American Rejects, The Fray, Green Day. I also love love The Beatles... I can spend a mellow day jammin to them their def listed on my IPOD as 'biking music'. :-) However one of my all time favorite songs is "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen. That song is magicial lol
    I also dig country music... Carrie Underwood and Johnny Cash are my faves. But my all time fave country songs are "Honky Tonk Badakadonk", "Independence Day", "God Bless the USA", "Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy.".... they be havin some jams on CMT lol
    I love musicial scores ...if life was a musical at 2pm every day I'd love it. haha

    >Now we get to rap... I'm a big Kayne West fan like he can do no wrong... I have every single album. I also dig Jay-Z I'm not gonna front and say I've been down for a long time but I have begun to recognize his skills. I'm a Drake fan too-- he performed at my university this April and he was hella sexy I even got a pic wit him (my face is mad ugly in it lol so nope I'm not gonna post it).... I can dig the COON music out right now I even respect their hustle but their def not on my list for "must have albums"... I think I also dig Wale.
    I love music if You can't tell... am I leaving on a cliff hanger fo sho I gotta talk about movies or books in my next post.



    Shopping... Shopping... and more Shopping..

    I spent a lot of money within the past 2 days.. my 600$ has been stripped to 320$ 0_0
    idk how I'ma fit this all in my suitcases for Germany

    so this is what I bought:

    American Eagle:

    Review: it was pretty costly but I think they will be sturdy and not rip on the inner thighs... if I loose more weight specificially in cutting down my thighs my jeans will be wonderful... all in all i really love the fit and they are so comfortable!

    I love the sunglasses... all I need to do is buy some more sunglass cases

    Charlotte Russe:

    I loooove these boots I've been slobbering over them for the past 5 months.. and I finally aquired them!! yay!!

    Forever 21

    I bought a slew of these scarves in different colors, a pair of earrings (not listed on website), several head band pieces, and a cute shirt I couldn't find on the website


    This cute clutch... I'm obssessed with it.. it's my first clutch EVER

    Leather Company:

    My heavily soughted leather jacket that is brown.. I'm getting used to it.

    Wish List:

    I bought the below necklace from some store...



    87PageS Workout Plan

    45-60 Minutes: Sat, Sun, Tues, Thurs, Fri

    -Walk Treadmill (warm up) = 5 min
    -Elliptical Machine (go super hard core) = 10 min
    -Stationary Bike (go super hard core) = 10 min
    -Walk Treadmill (cool down) = 5 min
    -200 Crunches (any type just make sure you come up)
    -Lift Weights = 5 min

    If You're feeling Adventurous .. Try these youtube videos or buy the dvd's



    And of course eat a diet that's healthy for you. I drink a lot of water and lately I've been ingesting veggies like my life depended on it. I'm trying to stay away from fast foods and chips/cheetos/doritos/etc.

    Importing my Thoughts

    Hello Wooorrllld

    So I haven't blogged for awhile. Being in mourning for Michael Jackson (RIP) and tryna get my mind straight for Graduation/Germany has kept me busy.

    Currently I'm the Land of Cleve chillin with one of my good friends as she makes the transition to being a college graduate and having a real job. Gosh having a real job is kind of freaky. She has to fill out all sorts of papers and figure out her benefits and she has to pay back her loans. Golly I don't envy her.

    I've been here for nearly 2 weeks and it's been kind of boring but I manage to entertain myself with reading historical romances, watching movies, and of course updating my twitter and poetry blog


    You Must Be Deaf!: "Wings Of Forgiveness"-India.Arie

    "Had to go
    Across the water
    Just to find
    What was here in my heart all along
    Spend so much time
    Trying to be right
    That I was dead wrong

    If Nelson Mandela can forgive his oppressors
    Surely I can forgive you for your passion

    You're only human
    Let's shake free this gravity of resentment
    And fly high, and fly high
    You're only human
    Let's shake free this gravity of judgment
    And fly high on the wings of forgiveness

    Had to run
    To the arms of curiosity
    Just to find
    What was here in my life all along
    I had found that the art of simplicity
    Simply means making peace of your complexity

    If Gandhi can forgive persecution
    Surely you can forgive me for being so petty

    I'm only human
    Let's shake free this gravity of resentment
    And fly high, and fly high
    You're only human
    Let's shake free this gravity of judgment
    And fly high on the wings of forgiveness

    I've searched for romance
    Flowers and affection
    What I found is a lesson
    Of what love really is
    Found the game of love is
    Not about how much you can take
    In fact authentic love is about
    How much you can give

    After everything that we've been through
    I just want you to know
    That I still love you
    I want you to know
    That I forgive you
    (thank you for teaching how to give)
    And I wanna let you know how much you changed my life
    I wanna let you know you taught me how to fly
    And I wrote this song to tell you this
    I'm better cuz you taught me how to give

    I took a swim
    In the sea of guilt and misery
    To find myself in an island
    In the middle of nowhere
    In my solitude
    I asked to know the highest truth
    And what I was told
    Is to let own self be true

    If Jesus can forgive crucifixion
    Surely we can survive and find resolution

    Let's keep it moving
    Let's shake free this gravity of resentment
    And fly high, and fly high
    You're only human
    Let's shake free this gravity of judgment
    And fly high, and fly high
    Let's keep it moving
    Let's shake free this gravity of commitment
    And fly high on the wings of forgiveness

    After everything that we've been through
    I just want you to know
    That I still love you
    I want you to know
    That I still love you
    And I wanna let you know how much you changed my life
    I wanna let you know you taught me how to fly
    And I wrote this song to tell you this
    I'm better cuz you taught me how to give

    I still love you
    I want you to know
    I still love you
    Want you to know
    I still love you
    (And I always will love you)
    And I wanna let you know
    I forgive you
    I wanna let you know
    That I still love you"



    R.i.p Micheal Jackson keep the spirit of the king of pop goin alive! send this to everyone


    Procastination = Facebook Quizzes

    So I always balk at these quizzes because they are underwhelming and consume a lot of time. However I gave in for the night. Although I will delete them off my facebook. I like my privacy duh... But I wanted to post them here in remembrance. :D

    ps... why can't these people spell on these quizzes?? What ever happened to spell check! gee whiz

    --What Decade Fits Your Personality Best?

    ****1940s: You are the ultimate romantic at heart. You put a high priority on true love, patriotism, and dedication to honor and duty. Whether it be serving your country or serving your family, you have a very hard work-ethic balanced out by your whimsical, dreamy heart.

    You are willing to take risks, go where no one has gone before, and you have a sense of pride in everything you do. Just as you are in touch with your inner beauty, you also give just the right amount of focus on your outer beauty-- standing out with the latest fashions and getting in touch with your sensual side.

    Your sexiness is not scandalous but rather classy and poised. You are the envy of those around you because no matter how much tough work you have to do, you keep a smile and look good while doing it.****


    Booty Booty Rockin Everywhere!


    So I've been on this workout plan. Tryna detox my self. Get back in shape and tone up. It's been working for the most part. I still need to work on the tummy but I no longer have a food belly and I can actually do 10 minutes of cardio without passing out. I also bought a bike from Walmart:

    I've been slacking off lately but tomorrow I'm going too work out even more.

    However my bff brought something to my attention this weekend.

    I've lost my booty. In her opinion I never had much of a booty - mind you she's a twig with an onion booty, and she rarely works out- she has this belief that working out doesn't make you loose your booty.



    Just last year, I was in Hawaii celebrating my 21st!
    At BGSU in my final semester of undergrad celebrating my 22nd.
    Weird stuff going on with my family.
    Fighting these feelings of loneliness and despair.
    Where are the ones who love me for better or worse??
    Wed June 10 1987 at 4:30pm I was born.
    Happy Birthday to me.


    Chocolate High

    oh wow talk about drunk blogging lol. my bad world, Im sober and had a full nights sleep. Im back in love with my chocolate self and thats it.


    This isn't Swag. I'm simply better than You.

    Ok, so I used to be very conceited. People made it their duty in life to make me grounded and realize the world doesn't revolve around me. I was pretty much narcissistic. I disliked fat and ugly people. I thought I was the bomb.com

    Sadly, I was shallow. I could hold a conversation but it was useless because I thought I was right all the time. I wasn't as pretty on the inside. I needed a face lift.

    I entered college. I found prettier people than me. People with souls. People with personality. Everything they were. I wasn't. I grew to despise myself. I didn't like my inside. I began to eat, eat, eat, have bad grades, make attempts at being a harlot, I became a dictator within student organizations, I drank like a ill used waif, and I lost so many friends.

    I convinced myself I wasn't that attractive and all I could add to the world was my rationale. I wanted to join a sorority. It is an awesome sorority. But the chapter members did not fit me. So I tried to mold my character into what I saw them do.


    My eye keeps Twitching

    Ever since I've come back from Puerto Rico my eye twitches. It happens when I see things that make me sad/mad. It can happen randomly. I can happen when I feel perfectly fine. I think it happens when I'm stressed and agitated. When I'm confused. It happens all the time. I can't get it to stop. The twitching has become noticeable to others. It happens on my left eyelid.

    What is wrong with me. I can't study. I have one more exam tomorrow morning. Studying is far from my mine. All I need is an 80 to maintain my B in the class. I have a 3.4 for the semester. I just feel like its worthless. I don't even feel like sleeping. I don't feel like eating. I don't even really feel like drinking and I love to sip on alcohol.

    Grr. I just want the semester to end. I just wish I knew the answers. I just want to go swimming.


    She's a Bad'Mam'a'Jam'Ah

    So I thought I looked real cute yesterday and I wanted to show off my outfit. This is actually a dress or shirt from my moms closet that I stole. :)

    So of course I'ma try to keep up being stylish... I've worked out the past two days.. my arms and chest are sore.. my legs are getting trimmed... and i need to work on my torso/abs extra extra hard... thats the suckiest.. but im liking how my body is shaping.. and my face is getting trim.. obviously! lol

    wooo yay me... Follow me on Twitter if you haven't yet!