5/14/09

This isn't Swag. I'm simply better than You.

Ok, so I used to be very conceited. People made it their duty in life to make me grounded and realize the world doesn't revolve around me. I was pretty much narcissistic. I disliked fat and ugly people. I thought I was the bomb.com

Sadly, I was shallow. I could hold a conversation but it was useless because I thought I was right all the time. I wasn't as pretty on the inside. I needed a face lift.

I entered college. I found prettier people than me. People with souls. People with personality. Everything they were. I wasn't. I grew to despise myself. I didn't like my inside. I began to eat, eat, eat, have bad grades, make attempts at being a harlot, I became a dictator within student organizations, I drank like a ill used waif, and I lost so many friends.

I convinced myself I wasn't that attractive and all I could add to the world was my rationale. I wanted to join a sorority. It is an awesome sorority. But the chapter members did not fit me. So I tried to mold my character into what I saw them do.


Luckily, I had great mentors during my collegiate career. I slowly began to find my true self. I was an ANGRY BLACK WOMAN and pissed at the world and society. But slowly but surely I was finding my own. I had a series of trials- I didn't get into the sorority and now I'm glad. Throughout my 4 years of college it was maturation process and the sorority would have only been a burden. Now I'm focusing on trying to re-build my GPA, trying to get off of Sallie Mae's tit, and becoming a woman.

Fortunately, I was able to break through. Now I'm accepting my flaws and crowing my successes. One thing I've realized is that. I can still be confident and beautiful and basically saddity without it being a hazard to myself and others. I'm such an awesome person and I'm shining bright.

Typically I've never cared what anyone thought of me. I'm always willing to be hated and be the scapegoat. I'm used to it. But now I can carry the burden with an assurance that I'm doing the best I can. And the pitfalls aren't potholes that will paralyze me. Oh and here's the kicker. I don't even care about how people view me. IF I feel like fighting at the club... well bitch put em up... I kid... mebbe not

I plan to walk around with a smile on my face, because the Blood of Royalty runs through my Veins. I tell no lies. I'm simply Better than You.

:D

2 comments:

Rachel Beau said...

I Love this entry! It's very real and straight to the point! That's very mature of you to understand things about yourself 'cause some people can't do it! I think I'm going to have to follow your blog! LOL

The Story of An Hour said...

Aww thanks so much! Everything is coming full circle and I'm super pleased about that!

ps. After you're first comment, I decided to follow you! :)

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