11/26/14

Orange Wednesday

 Hey gypsies, it's been awhile but I'm another adventure and I'm making it my duty to write about it. As I travel the skies in my journey to DC, I thought I would battle strangers, canceled flights, and crying babies. Shockingly, it was an orange that attempted to slight me. I can still feel the prickly itching, the scratchy throat, taste of citrus in the still air. 

It all being in the ORD USO, while I was re-packing my suitcase and a young child began to eat an orange. So I left and sat outside with the regular folk and towards the end of Vampire Diaries , a man across from me began the peeling of his orange. 

Aghast I looked around, was i the only one in shock? Perchance did these oranges come from in late November????!!! As I again ventured from a comfortable chair, I met the eyes of man selling oranges at the Farmers Market below. I admit I glared. Sighing I went to my gate, boarded the plane, squeezed into the middle seat and as the computerize flight attendant told me about the exit rows.... A tingling sensation graced my shoulders, from beyond my row of 20 I heard the munching of another orange eater. We're I not to be free from this danger? 

I beseeched the irritable old bat of flight attendant: "ma'am could you make an announcement regarding allergies and ask the passengers not to consume oranges as my epipen is below." She gave me two options. 1) get off the plane 2) bare it. Later she came back and spouted off a few policies that ended with, "next time bring your epipen with you."

Clearly I felt aggrieved and still quite itchy. Popping an 800 ibuprofen I covered my face and forced sleep. I would note the dousing of whiskey I inhaled from my sleeping seat partner.... Who I have a sneaking suspicion unapologetically slept on my shoulder.

Lesson learned, in November it is not uncommon for individuals to consume oranges, completely ignoring the decency of eating bananas or apples during this fall season. 

I have no choice but to blame GMOs. 

Ok, this story is over... It's  time to visit the Smithsonian Institution 

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